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Share Your Wisdom

I have observed that life is simply a cycle of learning, doing, and then teaching.  We are all teachers.  We are here to teach each other.  Keep in mind that every person you meet has something to teach you.  Little children are experts in spontaneity and living in the present moment.  They are often placed into our lives to remind us to slow down and to learn to appreciate the moment we are in.  Seeing the world through the eyes of a child can also remind you of the perfection of nature and the gifts we often take for granted as we rush through our busy lives.

I believe we all share the responsibility to pass on our knowledge, wisdom, and stories to our descendants and to anyone else who is willing and open to receiving them.  Think about your ancestors who have passed on.  What is the most valuable thing they could have left for you?  I personally believe nothing is more precious than the pictures and documented stories from their lives, including the lessons they learned and the wisdom they gained.

We are all connected on this planet, and we were put here to help each other.  Just as parents have the duty of teaching their own children how to stay safe and how to care for themselves as they grow, I believe it is our duty to help each other by lovingly sharing any wisdom gained and knowledge in our areas of expertise.

We all have a story to tell.  It may be scary at times to put yourself out there and share your story, but you never know who you may help by doing so.  One of the main reasons you are here is so you can share your story and help others going through similar situations.  Your story is more valuable than you know.  Please share it.

 Question of the Day

Which pieces of wisdom have you gained so far in life that you would like to pass on to others?

The above excerpt is from Day 25 of the book, The 31-Day Self-Love Challenge.  I am currently taking the challenge and this question came up today.  If I were asked to share what I have learned so far in my lifetime, here are the bits of advice I would offer:

  1. Open your mind!  Don’t stay stuck in the beliefs you have been fed throughout your lifetime.  There are many other perspectives out there that are also right.
  2. EVERYTHING is a gift!  EVERY person, EVERY thing, and EVERY situation you encounter IS a gift.
  3. Everything happens for a reason, and always for the greater good.
  4. GRATITUDE is the secret to happiness!
  5. Use your gifts to help others!  SERVICE is the secret to joy!
  6. SURRENDER is the secret to peace!  There is no need for worry.  Let go of your worries, and let God take them over.
  7. LOVE is ALWAYS the answer!
  8. Regardless of the mistakes you have made, you are UNCONDITIONALLY loved…we ALL are!  We are spiritual beings in a physical body.  Since spirit cannot be destroyed, you are NOT broken, and you can never be broken!
  9. Nature is the only thing that is perfect.  When we interfere with the perfection of nature, we create problems.
  10. All of the answers are within you.  Find some time each day to be in silence and connect with God, and you will find them!
  11. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.  We are all connected.  What you do, say, or think about others, you are also doing to yourself.  Be kind always and extend love, not judgement!
  12. BE YOURSELF!  God doesn’t make mistakes.  You were created exactly as you are for a reason.  You are needed on this earth exactly as you are!  Your purpose in life is to spread love to others by being yourself and using your natural gifts and talents!  Share your stories and your lessons learned to help others.

What have you learned so far in life that you would like to pass on to others?  Feel free to comment and share your wisdom with the rest of us!

Finding Peace

If you are reading this today and struggling in some way, I want you to know:

You are NOT an accident! You are here for a very important reason, and the world needs that unique combination of gifts that only you can provide! Your purpose here on this earth is to BE YOURSELF and use those talents to spread love to others. If you choose to do that, the world will be a better place because you were here.

Peace begins with SELF-LOVE! If you want to be at peace, you need to begin by learning how to love yourself unconditionally. Know that you were perfectly created! Stop giving yourself negative labels or believing the negative labels others have placed on you throughout the years. Get to know yourself and learn to be comfortable with who you are, and the world will be a much better place because of it!

GRATITUDE is the secret to happiness! You have SO much to be grateful for! Try to focus on all of the blessings in your life rather than the things you don’t have right now. If you need help recognizing those blessings, please ask someone to help you.  Keeping a gratitude journal might be a good way to help you begin to recognize the blessings in your life.

YOU are the creator of your own reality. If you don’t like the way your life is going, you have the ability to change that beginning right now. Every action you take, every word you speak, and every thought you think is a choice.  Each one can be done out of love or out of fear…if you want your life to improve, choose love every time!

Every situation you have ever experienced in your life has happened FOR you. Try to view EVERY situation as a gift. Know that there IS something good in EVERY situation, so always look for the good! The seemingly unfortunate situations you have been through have made you stronger and shaped you into the person you are today. Some of the toughest situations in our lives turn out to be our greatest blessings. Once you overcome them, you can use those experiences to help others!

You must allow yourself to fully feel your emotions.  There is a time for everything.  When it is time to be sad, allow yourself to be sad, and let the tears flow.  Do not suppress it or try to numb it, or it will remain within you and continue to eat away at you, and eventually it may manifest itself as a physical or mental illness.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!!!  You may feel broken, but the REAL YOU can NEVER be broken! You are a spiritual being in a physical body.  In the spiritual sense, you are complete.  You have everything you need inside of you right at this moment, and you do not need anyone or anything else to complete you.  Underneath all of those layers of hurt and pain that have built up within you throughout the years in your physical life, you will find the only part of you that is REAL, and that part of you never changes. It is the place where God resides within you, it is pure LOVE and infinite wisdom, it is the voice that guides you to help others and spread love in the world, and it is the part of you that will go on living forever because what is real can NEVER be destroyed or broken. When you are able to completely FORGIVE (yourself and others) for all of the things that have happened “to” you in your life, you will be able to get through all of those other layers and access that REAL part of you, and then you WILL find peace…and love…and infinite wisdom!

You WILL get through this. Just remember, darkness always comes before the dawn. This will not last forever. Hang in there!

If you want help, please reach out to someone you trust and ASK for it! There are plenty of resources out there and people willing to help.

Know that you are never alone, and you are loved unconditionally for who you are! ♥

11 Tips and Tools to Help Ease Your Worries and Fears

worrying peace

Anxiety is something many people live with every day.  Did you know that most of the things we worry about never happen?  Even though we may know this, many of us worry about them anyway. At some point, we have all experienced anxiety in our lives in one way or another.  If you suffer from anxiety frequently, I want you to know that you can overcome it and find peace in your life.  There are many tools and tips available to help you turn those fears into love and peace, and in this article I will share those that have worked best for me.

I suffered with anxiety as a child.  As I look back on all those years of living in fear and self-induced stress, I realize how unhealthy it was.  But I also realize it was a gift.  I needed to go through the process of dealing with it to get to where I am today.  By the grace of God, I was able to find some tools that have helped me to overcome all of my fears and find lasting peace in my life.

There are an unlimited amount of tools to help you deal with anxiety, and your job is to find what works best for you.  With each problem you experience, there are many possible solutions.  What worked for me may or may not be helpful to you.  Here are 11 tools and tips that I have found to be useful for easing the worries and fears in my own life:

  1. Exercise – Virtually any form of exercise can act as a stress reliever.  Get your body moving in any way you enjoy.  Exercise does not have to cost money.  You can simply go for a walk, garden, clean the house, or engage in any exercise that you enjoy.  Make it fun, but most importantly, just get moving!
  2. Get Outside – Everything in nature is medicine!  From the light of the sun to the minerals in the rocks on the ground, and everything in between.  When I am feeling stressed, one of my favorite things to do is to go for a walk out in the fresh air (sometimes with my dog, sometimes with a friend, and sometimes by myself.)  When I walk alone, I focus on enjoying and appreciating the nature all around me, and I give gratitude for nature and all of the things I have been blessed with.  Another of my favorite things to do is take a deep breath in, look up at the sky, and say a silent prayer of gratitude.  It only takes a few seconds, but my stress is often instantly relieved when I do this.
  3. Meditation – Even 5 minutes of meditation can help bring your awareness to the present moment and help you to ease your fears.  Here is a 5 minute guided meditation I have found to be very calming for me.  If this particular video doesn’t work for you, there are many others out there.  Simply search the internet for “5 minute guided meditation.”
  4. Keep a Journal – I personally find writing to be very therapeutic.  In her book, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron introduces a practice that can be very beneficial in helping you to reduce anxiety while improving your daily productivity and regaining your creativity.  This practice is called “morning pages.”  Morning pages consists of writing 3 pages in your journal upon waking each morning.  Write whatever comes to mind, and do not worry about spelling, grammar, etc.  Simply write without stopping until you have filled up 3 pages.  When I decided to challenge myself to writing morning pages daily for 30-days, I experienced many unexpected benefits.  I found that my days were more productive, I gained clarity on what my priorities really were in life, and I gained some valuable insights about life that led me to write my book, The 31-Day Self-Love Challenge.  Another benefit of morning pages was that it helped me to let go of some of my worries.  If “morning pages” seem too much for you, simply consider starting a journal and just writing your worries in there whenever they come up.  You may be surprised how therapeutic and helpful that can be!
  5. Turn off the News –  If you struggle with anxiety, one tip I strongly recommend is that you turn off the news.  You do not need to know about every fire, murder, or car accident that has happened in your area each day.  I do not watch the news at all, and I am easily able to keep up to date with everything I need to know through the headlines on-line and through my local town page on Facebook.  I simply click on those that I feel I need to know more about.  There is no need for me or my kids to see visuals of fires, murders, or accident scenes to add to our list of everyday stresses.  Instead of filling up your time with the local news, try replacing that time filling your mind with inspiring stories.  Do this and watch your attitude about the world shift from one of worry and fear to one of love and peace.  This advice is reinforced in my favorite bible verse:  “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” ~Philippians 4:8 NIV
  6. Yoga – I personally practice yoga at least once a week, and I have found it to be a very relaxing experience for me in body, mind, and spirit.  It helps me to focus on the present moment – something that is often very difficult to do in this day and age, especially as a mom.  According to Yoga Journal, just one of the benefits of yoga is that it relaxes your system: “Yoga encourages you to relax, slow your breath, and focus on the present, shifting the balance from the sympathetic nervous system (or the fight-or-flight response) to the parasympathetic nervous system. The latter is calming and restorative; it lowers breathing and heart rates, decreases blood pressure, and increases blood flow to the intestines and reproductive organs—comprising what Herbert Benson, M.D., calls the relaxation response.”  Check out the article 38 Health Benefits of Yoga to learn about more of the benefits of yoga.
  7. Reiki – Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing.  I am a certified reiki practitioner, and I have witnessed the calming effects this technique has had on my family members and clients.  If you are interested in finding out more about reiki, you may do so at Reiki.org.
  8. EFT Tapping –  EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Tapping is another method that has proven to be highly effective in helping people to overcome their fears and phobias.  Tapping is a combination of ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology.  As you tap your fingers on specific points on your body, you acknowledge your fears out loud.  This helps you to become in tune with your feelings, and then it allows you to fully experience them so you are able to let them go.  I know from experience that tapping really works!  When my daughter developed some physical health issues last year, it caused her a great deal of anxiety.  After many doctor visits and tests and many school days missed, the doctors and specialists could find nothing physically wrong with her, but she insisted that the symptoms still existed.  Her anxiety grew, and fears began taking over her life.  She became afraid of going to school.  She was even afraid to go to sleep at night!  We began tapping on these issues and discovered some underlying fears that were contributing to these bigger fears.  We tapped on these issues every night.  Within a few weeks, all of her fears were gone and all of her health issues were completely resolved and have not returned.  Tapping is wonderful because it is a tool that you can use anytime and anywhere, it doesn’t require the assistance of anyone else, it is absolutely free, and it is very simple to learn!  If you would like to learn how to do it, visit The Tapping Solution to watch free instructional videos and to download some very useful tapping sessions to help reduce stress.
  9. Change Your Thoughts from Fear into Love and Gratitude -Just as light and darkness are opposites and cannot exist simultaneously, love and fear work the same way.  When you shine a light into a room, the darkness is removed.  Similarly, when you focus your thoughts on gratitude and love, worry and fears dissolve.  I recently had the opportunity to practice turning my fear into love and gratitude.  When I chose to do so, my worries vanished and I was overcome with peace.  My youngest daughter recently broke her arm and had to have a procedure done with anesthesia for the first time.  When she was 20 months old, she became very sick due to a reaction to a vaccine.  Since then, I have been fearful of vaccines, medicines, and putting anything unnatural into our bodies unless it was absolutely necessary.  Needless to say, I had a very difficult time dealing with her having anesthesia, and it caused me much anxiety and worry.As I sat in the waiting room while she was having the procedure done to fix her arm, the fears came rushing to me.  I kept thinking, “What if she doesn’t wake up?”  Finally, after worrying myself for several minutes, I made the decision to stop worrying and to turn my fears into love.In that moment, I closed my eyes and sent love to everyone in the operating room with my daughter, and I gave thanks for all of them.  I envisioned the room filled with a white light, and I sent love and positive thoughts to everyone involved.  Then, I gave thanks for the one thing that was causing me the most anxiety – the anesthesia.  I thanked it for helping this to be a positive experience for my daughter, and I tried to focus on all the good things about the anesthesia.  Because of it, she would have no pain during the procedure.  She would also have no memory of it, so it would not be a traumatic experience for her, and it would not cause her to develop new fears that she would have to deal with for the rest of her life.  When she woke up, her arm would be back together in a cast and on its way to healing properly.  Choosing to focus on the benefits of anesthesia and turning my thoughts from fear into love and gratitude helped me to calm down immediately.Within moments, the doctor emerged and he let me know that everything had gone smoothly and my daughter had done great.  I was taken to the recovery room to wait for her to wake up.  When she opened her eyes, I was right there by her side.  The first words that came out of her mouth were, “I’m bored!”  Right then, I could tell that she was her usual self, and it gave me a great sense of relief.  For the rest of the time we were there, everyone was fantastic with her.  The nurses were all so attentive, and I could feel the love that I had sent out being returned to us.When I decided to change my fears into love and gratitude, everything changed.  I saved myself many moments of unnecessary worry when I took the opportunity to look for the good in the anesthesia and give thanks for it.  That is just another reminder that everything in life can be a gift if you look for the good and focus on that! ~from The 31-Day Self-Love Challenge: Day 17.
  10. Let Go of Perfectionism – Learn to accept yourself exactly as you are.  Accept others just  as they are without judgement.  Recognize and appreciate the unique gifts you have to offer as well as those that others have to offer.  Let go of your desire to fit society’s definition of perfect, and also let go of your desire to control others to fit your expectations of perfect.  Nobody is perfect.  If we were, then there would be no opportunity for growth.  One of the reasons we are on this earth is to grow and to learn from our mistakes, and to help and teach others as we grow and learn along the way.  If we can recognize that we were not meant to be perfect and we allow ourselves to make mistakes in everyday life once in a while, we will take a lot of stress and pressure off of ourselves.  Stress is not healthy, and perfectionism is generally not healthy (unless you’re a surgeon or in a profession where perfectionism is necessary…then by all means, please keep your high standards.)  But in everyday life, we all make mistakes.  Many of us try to live up to the expectations of our society, and that is very unhealthy.  There is so much pressure to be the perfect parent, raise a perfect family, live in a perfect house, hold a perfect job, all while having the perfect body.  Guess what?  Perfection does not exist.  I have finally come to realize that, and life is so much easier and enjoyable without all that added pressure.  I believe one of the reasons I suffered with anxiety as a child is because I could never live up to my expectations of perfection.  I excelled in school all the way throughout my college years, but now I look back and ask myself, “why?”  Why did I put so much stress and pressure on myself to be the perfect student?  I do believe there is a reason for everything, and maybe the reason is so I can teach my kids that it’s ok not to be perfect.  It’s ok if you don’t get A’s on everything.  It’s ok if my house is not spotless 100% of the time.  It’s ok to try new things.  It’s ok to make mistakes.  It’s ok to be myself and do things my own way.  We are all growing and learning, and it’s ok if we’re not perfect all the time (or even most of the time.)  Nobody is.  How boring life would be if we were perfect!  There are so many ways to do everything, and each of our jobs is to find what works best for us.  A perfect life is an authentic life…it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
  11. Surrender -I have discovered that the best way to a life of peace and serenity is through surrender.  We must remember that we are not the master planner of our lives.  Events are going to happen that are out of our control, and some of them may even be traumatic.  Sometimes we will be distracted, and things are not always going to go the way we plan.  When these things happen, we are presented with two choices:  we could feel sorry for ourselves because things aren’t going as we planned, or we could embrace the distractions and unfortunate situations and recognize each one as a gift and an opportunity to grow.  Sometimes these traumatic events may lead us to develop fears, phobias, or limiting beliefs.  The first step to overcoming any of these is to recognize them and decide that we want to overcome them.  Sometimes it feels safer to hang on to our fears, but that only prevents us from achieving our dreams and it does not allow us to grow into the person we were meant to be.  When we decide to let go and let God take over, we surrender control of our lives and decide to put our complete trust in God (or the universe, the process of life, or whatever you personally call it).  We then realize that everything happens in its own perfect time and for a reason.  We come to the understanding that we will receive everything we need at the perfect time, so there is no need for worry.  This realization and trust will provide us with a deep level of peace.  After living with anxiety for many years, I have finally experienced the deep peace that comes with surrender.  Once you find this peace, you are able to tap into it at any time.  I don’t believe there is any greater gift than that! (This excerpt was also from my book, The 31-Day Self-Love Challenge: Day 17.)

These are just a few tools you might want to try to help you relieve your worries and fears.  There are many, many more I could list, including music, aromatherapy, and the list goes on and on!  If none of these tips work for you, keep searching and trying new things.  Don’t give up!

What is your favorite way to relieve stress?  Please leave your favorite tip in the comments.