I came across this beautiful poem this week, and it really spoke to me:
“When I’ll be dead, your tears will flow, but I won’t know…Cry for me now instead!
You will send flowers, but I won’t see… Send them now instead!
You’ll say words of praise, but I won’t hear…Praise me now instead!
You’ll forget my faults, but I won’t know…Forget them now, instead!
You’ll miss me then, but I won’t feel… Miss me now, instead!
You’ll wish…you could have spent more time with me…Spend it now instead!!” ~Author Unknown
I feel so blessed to have spent two days of this Thanksgiving holiday weekend with my 4-year-old niece, Mya. I am thankful for having the opportunity to play with her, listen to her laugh and sing, and watch her run around like any other 4-year-old, for what might be the last time. She reminded me of what really matters in life…
Mya was diagnosed with a brain tumor one year ago, in November 2012. She survived 6 rounds of chemotherapy and was in stable condition as of June 2013. She spent 100 days in isolation while she began to gain her strength back. Her hair began to grow back, her appetite came back, and everything was looking great. Tragically, on November 6 she went back for an MRI and it showed the tumor had spread to different parts of her brain as well as her spine, and it is now in a very aggressive state. The doctors estimate she has 6-12 months to live. You can imagine how devastating this news was to her parents.
Until this past week, Mya was feeling fine with no symptoms. On Tuesday, she started to experience headaches. While at my house on Thanksgiving, she was experiencing headaches, vomiting, dizziness, and loss of balance. There was nothing she wanted more than to join in and play with her older cousins, but the pain was so bad she could not concentrate, even with the medication. Mya spent Thanksgiving night and most of Friday in the hospital.
This was the first time I had ever witnessed her with any symptoms. Living this experience was much more difficult than just hearing about it or reading about it. I wanted to take away her pain so badly, but there was nothing I could do. I can’t imagine what her parents have been going through for the past year, wanting to take away her pain, but feeling so helpless.
On Saturday, we saw Mya again at another family gathering. This was a much better day! She had no pain at all and spent the day laughing, singing, playing, and running around playing with her cousins. Knowing this might be the last time I see her, I focused on being truly present with her and really paid attention and appreciated seeing all those beautiful smiles, hearing her sing and laugh, and watching her play with my kids. Mya loves having her picture taken, and she loves being behind the camera. It was great watching her run around the house with my camera taking pictures of everyone and everything. I am thankful she had a good day and we were all able to see her in a good state.
Right now I don’t understand why this is happening to Mya and her family, but I trust that God has a reason for this and over time people will be brought together and many good things will happen because of her existence. I know God doesn’t make mistakes, and everything happens for a reason for the overall good, but that doesn’t make it easy to watch Mya and her family suffer.
My time with Mya this weekend reminded me of a few things. We all have little day-to-day problems, but when we change our perspective, we realize we are beyond blessed to simply be here. Every person and experience we encounter each day is a gift. We take so many things and people for granted each day and waste so much time worrying about the little things. In the end, the only thing that matters are our relationships– with ourselves, with God, and with others. We need to spend our time on what really matters, make the most of each day, and be truly present in everything we do.
Please pray for Mya as she begins radiation in the coming weeks to give her a little more time, and especially pray for her family as they prepare for something no parent should ever have to prepare for.
For the most recent updates and to view her entire story, visit http://www.fightformya.org. Thank you and God Bless!!
